Lindsay Clancy’s Diary Entries Read in Court: “I Feel Like I’m Drowning Every Day”

Lindsay Clancy’s private diary became a key focus in court as prosecutors presented her own words to the jury, revealing a mother who described herself as overwhelmed, disconnected and struggling to cope in the months before her three children were killed.

During the second week of Clancy’s murder trial, Plymouth County Assistant District Attorney Shanan Buckingham read passages from Clancy’s diary while questioning Massachusetts State Police investigator Cory Melo.

Clancy is accused of killing her three children — 5-year-old Cora, 3-year-old Dawson and 8-month-old Callan — at the family’s Duxbury, Massachusetts, home in January 2023.

The defense does not dispute that Clancy killed the children. Instead, her attorneys argue that she was suffering from postpartum psychosis and severe mental-health problems and therefore should not be held criminally responsible.

But prosecutors have presented the diary entries as part of their argument that Clancy was aware of what she was experiencing and deliberately carried out the killings.

One entry described just how overwhelmed she felt while caring for her children.

“I feel like I’m drowning every day,” Clancy wrote.

She also described herself as being “completely overwhelmed.”

The words gave jurors a glimpse into Clancy’s state of mind before the tragedy, but the two sides offered very different interpretations of what those entries meant.

For prosecutors, the writings could support their argument that Clancy was conscious of the difficulties she was facing and capable of making decisions.

For the defense, however, the same passages appeared to illustrate the severity of her deteriorating mental state.

During cross-examination, defense attorney Kevin Reddington highlighted additional diary entries in which Clancy wrote about experiencing “brain fog” and feeling “completely disconnected with my baby.”

Those statements are central to the defense’s broader argument that Clancy’s mental health had deteriorated dramatically after giving birth to Callan.

The defense has repeatedly pointed to insomnia, anxiety, medication changes and other symptoms as evidence that Clancy was experiencing a psychiatric crisis in the weeks leading up to the killings.

The diary testimony came as prosecutors also questioned medical professionals about Clancy’s condition after she allegedly attempted to take her own life.

After killing the children, Clancy cut her wrists and jumped from a second-story window. The fall caused catastrophic injuries and left her paralyzed from the waist down.

Her then-husband, Patrick Clancy, discovered her outside the home before finding their children inside.

During testimony, emergency room physician Dr. Kelly McDonough described Clancy’s wrist injuries as “superficial lacerations.”

The prosecution’s questioning appeared to raise questions about whether the suicide attempt was exactly what the defense claims it was.

Reddington, however, had already anticipated that argument during his opening statement.

“This is no fake suicide,” he told the court.

The diary entries now add another layer to the battle over Clancy’s mental state.

She had written about feeling overwhelmed and as though she was drowning, while also describing a disturbing sense of disconnection from her youngest child. The prosecution and defense are using those same words to tell two completely different stories.

And as the trial continues, the central question remains:

Were Clancy’s diary entries evidence of a mother desperately seeking help as her mind unraveled — or clues that she understood what was happening and was capable of making deliberate choices?

The jury will ultimately have to decide which interpretation fits the evidence.