I served my ex divorce papers at his job, the day before he thought he was coming back home—after he called me from another woman’s house to say he wanted out. Six months later, they repossessed…

Some people are built differently — by which I mean built entirely out of audacity, delusion, and a sprinkle of main character syndrome. Today on Our Space, we’ve got to serve the karma piping hot. This is real life, and in real life, actions have consequences. So — am I the asshole for serving divorce papers to my ex at his job, the day before he thought he was coming back home?

Okay, this is a long backstory, so bear with me. Three years after we met, he moved in with me. We got married. It wasn’t my first marriage, but it was his first.

We had our ups and downs, but mostly we got along fine and didn’t argue much. But he would throw tantrums if things didn’t go his way. He’d punish me by sleeping on the edge of the bed — which was honestly fine with me — or by not talking to me and slamming things around. Two years into our marriage, things weren’t horribly wrong yet.

Then he got into drugs. It was horrible. One night, I finally had enough and was on the phone when he came home. That call actually saved his life.

He got clean and went back to work full-time, always putting me and my grandson first before his own needs. He went to work and came home. That was it. Four years later, I finished my education and became an ordained priest.

I’ve been the pastor of my church ever since. At first, he didn’t mind. But then he started saying things like, “I didn’t sign up for this. ” Even though I never pushed church on him.

I knew he believed in God, and he prayed daily. I started noticing him changing clothes and leaving at odd times. At first, he said it was to watch sports on TV since we didn’t have live television. Then he told me he’d be back whenever he got back.

Then things went back to how they were. We laughed a lot. We joked around, and I started getting the usual kiss goodbye before he left for work. One night, he did his laundry like he always did, and I talked to him while he was folding it.

He never wanted me to do his laundry, so that wasn’t unusual. But the next day, when he was supposed to fly to Florida to visit family, he didn’t come home. Instead, I got a call from him — from another woman’s house. He told me on the phone that he wanted a divorce.

So I went to the courthouse and got the divorce paperwork. I filled everything out myself. Where I live, I was able to serve him personally. I decided that since he chose to end our marriage while working at that store, I would officially end it there too.

The day before he was supposed to fly to Florida, I made sure I looked good when I walked in. I served him his divorce papers at his job. He hadn’t seen it coming. He thought everything was fine.

The last thing he said to me on the phone was that he never thought I’d actually go through with it. But I never brought up the past. I just let the papers speak for themselves. Six months after our divorce was final, my car was repossessed.

When we were together, he took out two loans and I agreed to use my SUV as collateral because I never pictured my life without him. He stopped paying on his loans, so they took my car. I wasn’t notified because they sent him all the letters. They wanted me to pay off his loans to get my car back.

I burst out laughing and said, “That will never happen. ”

So, was I the asshole for serving him the way I did? Let’s see what the community thinks. First up — wow.

I can’t believe he tried to say the marriage would survive from his girlfriend’s house. That’s next-level delusion. He was only packing what he couldn’t live without. His plan was to return home to me when he came back.

But instead, I served him with divorce papers the day before he left to visit family. Two weeks later, my car was repossessed. The bank wanted me to pay off $3,000 of his first loan and then $5,700 for the second one that he stopped paying on. I was willing to pay off my car, but I told them I’d never pay for his loans.

They refused. Here’s what happened since my post. I found out where my car was being held — at two different lots. I went there, took my personal belongings, and removed my license plate.

A guy watched me and said, “You’re not the first person to do this. ” I put my plate back on and came home. Now, I know the bank can still come after me for the balance, but honestly, I don’t care. If it hits my credit report, so be it.

I don’t use credit cards. In October, my daughter closed on a brand new house. I had no other bills except my selling utilities. I’m now living with her and my grandson.

I was lucky enough to retire when my muscular dystrophy started causing more health issues. That money goes into my other bank account. My ex-mother-in-law was happy to give me his new address so I can sue him for my half of the income tax return he kept last year. She’s even letting us — me, my daughter, and my grandson — stay with her when we need to.

He expected you to still be loyal to him while he was literally playing house with someone else. That is literally next-level delusion. Also, your ex-mother-in-law refusing to acknowledge his girlfriend’s name — that woman might have her faults, but that level of shade is something to be admired. He made his choices.

You just made sure they had consequences. Bravo, OP. Did OP do the right thing here? Let us know your thoughts in the comments below.

Up next — nothing says professional like your husband texting another woman right in front of you. I saw a text come through from a female name I didn’t recognize. I asked who it was, and he said she’s a colleague from a company his company works closely with. He has text previews turned off, so I couldn’t actually see what was said.

But over the last several weeks, text messages between them have become more frequent. Sometimes they talk about work, sometimes not. Prior to last week, it was maybe once a month of communication to plan things. But then she joined a board that he’s on.

Last week, they had a board meeting and then seemed to go out as a group for drinks afterward. When he came home that night, he was unusually happy. He told me he’d been hoping to have more opportunities to talk with her instead of everyone else. The next morning, he texted her good morning and asked her to drinks one-on-one next week.

She agreed, and he said he couldn’t wait. Of course, I looked into who she is. She’s a high-level community organizer. I know he’s been really focused on networking, and she has a lot of high-up community connections.

It looks like she’s introduced him to some powerful people. He’s also a friendly guy who likes to be involved through board work and professional organizations. So, how would you handle this? How would you respond without accusing him and ruining the marriage?

Update — well, you all were correct. I continued to monitor his texts without saying anything. He continued to be flirty — texting her good morning, telling her how he couldn’t wait to see her, and how happy he was to hear from her throughout the day. They did go out for dinner and drinks the other night.

It sounds like it must have gone well, since they’re now having flat-out conversations to set the framework for the affair. They’ve discussed that they want to keep things private and out of work. She doesn’t like that he’s married. They both have mutual feelings and are going to continue.

They’re on the same page about everything. She initially didn’t want to start this but has developed feelings she can’t ignore. Meanwhile, my husband told her that he’s always had these feelings and couldn’t resist her. Not sure if anything physical happened, but I’m assuming it did.

I thought I’d be heartbroken by now, but I’m just furious. I’m getting my affairs in order to confront him and end the marriage. Thanks for all the feedback and advice. The “I couldn’t resist you” text is especially telling.

He wasn’t conflicted or hesitant. He was all in. And that’s not the kind of mistake a committed husband makes. It won’t be easy, but you have to get out of there.

Don’t let him talk you into staying. After all, he’s always had feelings for her. What would you do in this situation? Tell us in the comments.

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