I was sitting on the couch, minding my own business, when the doorbell rang. A process server stood on the other side holding an envelope. I called Steph over, told her it was for her, and went back to the living room. She took it, sat down beside me, and absent-mindedly opened it while still half-watching the show we had on.
When she saw what was inside, she went completely still. She turned the papers over, read the front, read the back, and then looked at me. “What? ”
I asked her the same thing.
She clarified. “What is this? ”
“What does it look like? ” I said.
“They’re divorce papers. ”
“But they’re not for me, are they? ”
“They are. ”
She genuinely couldn’t process it.
She kept asking what she had done, kept insisting I was joking. She was so convinced it was a prank. I didn’t answer with words. I pulled out my phone and hit play.
She heard her own voice, heard Sebastian telling her she didn’t need to be shy anymore, heard the sounds of the two of them together in the car I’d bought her. When she realized what was playing, she tried to grab the phone. I held it out of reach and let it keep going. I had to suffer through it once; she could suffer through it too.
She begged me to stop. She threatened to walk out. She didn’t. She sat there, listening, while her whole life fell apart.
When it ended, I asked her to explain herself. She just wept. Then, without me even pushing, she started talking. She said he worked in the same building.
They’d met in an elevator a few times, struck up small talk. He started flirting with her, and she admitted that because he was handsome, she liked the attention. She told him she was married, always wore her ring, but he didn’t care. He said he wouldn’t let me stop him from appreciating her beauty.
One day, on her way out of work, he asked which direction she was going. She told him. He said his house was that way and asked for a ride. She gave him one.
Then one day, out of nowhere, he gave her directions that led to an abandoned parking lot behind a warehouse. She thought it was a drug deal at first. Then he leaned over and kissed her. She said she tried to pull away, but before she knew it, she was kissing him back.
They had sex right there. It became a routine every time he managed to catch her leaving work. She said it was wrong, but it was convenient and exciting, and she couldn’t help it. I asked if that was the only time she’d slept with him.
I asked about the nights she disappeared and wouldn’t answer my calls. She insisted those were innocent. I didn’t believe her. I didn’t really care anymore.
I told her there was only one option left. Divorce. She started crying again, and it just annoyed me. I snapped at her to shut up.
I could see it hurt her more than anything else because I’m normally calm and passive. But I told her she’d broken my heart and she needed to be out of the house within the hour before I did something crazy. She left. To be honest, I was absolutely heartbroken.
I had loved that woman completely. I just wished she’d loved me the same way. She regretted getting caught, I knew that much. But she didn’t regret the affair.
If she did, she wouldn’t have kept it going for so long. The divorce was easy. According to her, she felt too guilty to fight over anything in court. She let me keep the apartment, didn’t ask for alimony, and only asked that I pay for three months of rent so she could find a place.
I gave her that and the car, just to save myself the headache of sitting in front of a judge. It was a fair trade. I still felt a little bad about what I did next. Her company has strict policies about fraternizing between employees.
I sent them the recording I had. It took them a long time to finish their investigation, but eventually they found both Steph and Sebastian in violation of company policy. Both of them were terminated. She called me after it happened and told me she knew I was behind it.
She wasn’t even angry. She just sounded sad. She cried over the phone, and as soon as she started, I hung up on her. I was done.
But there was one last thing I wanted to do. She’d always dreamed of going to Banff, Canada. So I went. I took hundreds of pictures and posted every single one.
She asked if I was there. I said yes. She didn’t respond for an entire day. I knew it destroyed her.
A week later, I went to a concert of a band we both liked. I knew that hurt her too. And finally, I started talking to someone new. It was casual, just a friend really, but Steph didn’t know that.
She saw the picture on my Instagram story and triggered completely. She called me the next day. She sounded like she’d been crying. She said she saw that I was living my best life and that she was happy for me.
She wanted me to know she was sorry for how she hurt me. She said I was a good person and she’d hurt me really badly. She said she was dealing with a lot of self-hate recently. Am I a bad person for saying that made me happy?
She said she felt like apologizing would help, but she wasn’t sure. She just wanted to do the right thing and let me know she was sorry. I let her finish. Then I told her I’d heard everything she said, hung up, and blocked her.
There’s nothing else I need from her now. I gave her a few things to hurt her, and now she’s the one beating herself up. I wish her the best in her struggle, but from very far away.
As for me, I’m moving on to the next phase of my life.
