The tavern was warm and golden at the edges, and Raya had lost count somewhere around ten drinks. She was second in command of the palace guard, not much of a drinker, and even less of a talker, but the wine had other plans. She wobbled on her chair like a flag in a breeze, brandishing her tankardand entirely convinced she was making excellent points„I could run this palace better than the King himself„, she announced„,On his best day,and my worst„
The table erupted„Pike, the youngest of them,howled„,To the captain we deserve! „
„I’m serious„, Raya said„,One week with the run of the place and I’d have it fixed„„
„Fixed how?
„, said Brenna, grinning over her cards„
„Supplies„, Raya set her cup down with the care of someone who knew she was wobbly„,We requisition forty spears,we get twelve„We order grain for the East Barracks,and it goes where? Gone„And the orders„Half of them contradict the other half„The captain and I spend more hours sorting out who told who what than we ever spend actually guarding anything„„
„It isn’t luck,it’s neglect„, Raya proclaimed,the liquor taking the wheel entirely„,,The man at the top hasn’t the faintest notion any of it’s happening„He’s too busy waxing lyrical over his banquets to notice the whole place is rotting from the floor up„„
„Strong words„, said a dry voice from the next seat„Raya turned„She hadn’t noticed him sitting down,a man in a traveler’s cloak,the hood up despite the heat of the room„A cup of dark ale in one hand that he hadn’t touched„
„A king ought to know what goes on in his own house„, she stretched„,,This one couldn’t find the storehouse with both hands,and a map„„
„The king„, he went on,is young„New to the office? Perhaps no one’s told him that storehouses are in the habit of growing legs„„
„Then no one’s doing their job,including him„, Raya jabbed a finger at the table„,,He’s the king„Not knowing is the one thing he isn’t allowed to be„„
„You’d say that to his face,would you? „
„I’d say worse to his face„, Raya thumped the table with her tankard„
The stranger reached up,unhurried,and pushed the hood back„Raya’s first thought,drunk and instant,and entirely traitorous,was,Oh,that’s not fair„Because the face under the hood was one she knew„It was on the coins she counted,and the great hall portrait she passed forty times a day on patrol„Fenris,he said pleasantly,as though they were being introduced„The king„Charmed„And you are?
The laughter drained out of the room the way water leaves a cracked basin„Pike found his voice first„,Your majesty,he said,bowing„
Raya’s wolf understood that she should stop talking„The wine had other plans„
„Huh,she said„,You’re shorter than the portraits„„
„Am I? The king asked„,I’ll have the painters flogged„„
He raised an eyebrow„Then he leaned in,and said it like a dare„,If you were queen,my dear,then we’d have to be married„„
Well,he’d picked the wrong drunk woman„
„Then marry me„, She thumped the table again„,Go on,I dare you„Marry me,and come,and see how the rest of us live„„
The tavern was now entirely silent„The king blinked„Raya blinked back„For a moment,they only looked at each other„He opened his mouth to answer„She watched his lips part,watched the shape of the first word begin to form„And then the room tilted gently sideways„The floor,and the ceiling traded places,and Raya passed out cold before she heard a single word of it„
She woke to the conviction that she had died in the night,and that this was hell„Hell,it seemed,was extremely bright„But at least she was in her own bunk„
„She lives„, said a voice„Brenna stood in the doorway,arms folded„Behind her was Pike„
„Go away„, Raya croaked„
„So,big night? Pike offered,careful„
„Fine„, Raya rolled her eyes„,I drank too much„It won’t happen again„„
But nobody laughed„Instead,Brenna,and Pike traded a look„
„What? Raya asked„
Brenna grimaced„,You really don’t remember?
„I remember enough to be ashamed of„, Raya said„
„It’s really not„, said Pike„And then,with forced cheer,he added,,But it’ll be fine„He’s not going to take a word from a guard that drunk seriously„„
„Pike„, Brenna said,to shut him up„
Brenna crouched to her level„,I don’t know how to tell you this„,She sighed„,But you went ahead,and told the king he was shorter than his portraits„„
The memory dragged the rest up with it„The hood pushed back by an unhurried hand„The jaw,the blue eyes„
„No„, She said,to the memory more than to Brenna„She’d called him a pup„The most powerful alpha in the land,a pup to his face„And then she’d proposed to him„She’d asked the king of the realm to marry her„
The door banged open„,The captain wants you„,A messenger said„,Now„„
By the time she knocked on the captain’s door,she felt nauseous with nerves„
„Tell me the whole palace has it wrong„, Dane said„,Tell me you did not,in front of a tavern full of witnesses,ask the Alpha King to marry you„„
Raya closed her eyes„„Sir„, She said weakly„
Dane,who’d stared down a prison riot without blinking,now looked simply,and openly afraid„
„What did you say to him? he asked„
„Everything that left your mouth,Raya„„
They both heard it under the second toll,coming up through the floor„Footsteps„One man,unhurried,easy,coming this way„The king wasn’t coming„The king was here„
The door opened,and the king of all the land walked into the little gray office,and the room changed„He filled the doorway,and then the room,broad-shouldered,and unhurried,and he was beautiful„The easy,total certainty of a wolf who had never once in his life had to raise his voice to be obeyed„Drunk,she’d called him a pup„Standing here sober,she understood that she had been very,very stupid„
„Ah„, The king said,giving her a look„,There’s my fiance„„
Raya froze„He hadn’t come for an arrest„He’d come for sport„
„Your majesty„, Dane said„,Forgive me„My guard was gravely intoxicated last night„If there’s discipline owed,let it be mine to give,and let it be quiet„„
„Discipline„, he repeated,eyes widening„,Captain,I do hope you don’t mean to discipline my delicate bride yourself„I might take it personally„„
„Your majesty„, Dane tried„,Please,don’t jest„Raya’s a good soldier„„
„And there will be discipline„, Fenris’s eyes cut to Raya„,I’ll be seeing to it personally„Once we’re wed„„
Then he winked at her„Raya’s jaw dropped„
„You can’t actually mean to marry the girl„, Dane said carefully„
„And why not? He gasped„,She asked me,and I said yes„„
Fenris turned to Raya,all innocence„,Didn’t I,swetheart? And here was the trouble„Raya genuinely could not remember„
„I said yes„, Fenris repeated,beaming„,Right before you were sick all over my shoes„„
The room tilted because she remembered,and the heat at her neck went straight to the roots of her hair„
„You vomited on the king„, Dane said faintly„
„Don’t fuss,Captain„, Fenris smiled peacefully„,I only found her all the more charming for it„„
„But why?
Forgive me,your majesty„, Dane dragged a hand down his face„,Why would you agree to marry her? „
Fenris spread his hands,easy as anything„,When a bond hits,it hits hard„„
Raya startled„A bond? Impossible„She would feel it„All she felt was the presence of a powerful alpha„
Liar,she thought„With a certainty that startled her„There was no bond„He knew it,she knew it„
„You’re saying she’s your mate? Dane said,voice gone strange„
„Well,of course she’s my mate„, Fenris proclaimed„,She’d hardly have dared ask the king of the realm to marry her otherwise,would she?
Imagine it„A soldier of yours propositioning her sovereign,in a public tavern,for no better reason than a skinful of wine„Not a bond,in sight„Can you imagine the scandal,Captain? „
Raya grimaced„She’d been played„The mate bond was the one thing that made last night anything other than a hanging offense„Deny it,and she was just a drunk guard who belonged in a cell„Allow it,and the whole mad business turns to fate„The question was,why would he pretend she was his mate,knowing it wasn’t true? „Now„, the king clapped his hands„,Might I have a moment alone with my betrothed? Dane bowed,and went„And the latch clicked„And Raya was alone with the king„
„Your majesty„, she said„,Last night I was far out of line„I insulted you,and what I did after I have no excuse for„I’ll take whatever discipline the captain sees fit„There’s no need to drag the crown into a farce„„
„You’re terribly serious in the mornings„, he observed„
„Your majesty,please„„
He watched her„A slow smile spreading across his face„,Tonight,he said„,I’ll send someone to bring you to dinner„Wear what you like„You will make an effort,won’t you,Raya dearest?
I’m so looking forward to getting to know my bride sober„„
And then he was gone„And the apology she’d built so carefully was still sitting in her mouth with nowhere to go„
Dinner was laid in a small private room„When Fenris arrived,his pale blue eyes found her across the room„And something in them made her pulse kick stupidly against her throat„
„Well,my dear,he said„,Pink certainly suits you„,,He surveyed her the way a man surveys a board he’s already won„
„Why am I here,your majesty? Raya asked„
„To eat? Fenris blinked„
„You can’t possibly want to marry me„, She met his eyes„,I’m a guard„I’m tall,and I’m plain,and I’m„, She stopped„,It doesn’t make sense„„
For a moment,he set his chin on his hand,and regarded her with an expression of wounded innocence„
„Why not you,Raya? He argued„,When the bond hits,it doesn’t consult a list„„
„I’d feel it if we shared a bond,she said„,I’d feel something at least,and I don’t„„
He was quiet for a moment„
„You asked me to come,and see how the rest of the kingdom lives„To learn what difficulty truly is„Perhaps that’s what this is„„
„And how are you learning anything sitting here being fed pheasant?
Raya asked„,And forgive me,your majesty„But if you’ve the time,and the leisure to wine,and dine whatever woman you fancy making fun of,then I don’t think you’ve got the first idea what difficulty actually is„„
Fenris sat back„Then he said,You’re right„He set his napkin aside„,I’ve never once stood where you stand„So show me„Show me your side of it,and we’ll find out whether it’s as easy as I think„„
So she showed him„They went to the armory„
„Forty spears requisitioned,she explained„,Twelve delivered„Same with mail,with boot leather,with lamp oil„Every month„„
Fenris ran his hand along the empty pegs,frowning„
„Where does the rest go? „That’s the question,isn’t it? She moved down the line„,The captain flagged it„But it goes up the chain,and dies there„No one upstream has ever cared how a barracks actually runs„„
„Show me the duty roster,he said„
She blinked„
„You said,„Show me„’I’m being shown„„
He was genuinely reading the roster„Something warm,and dangerous unfurled in her chest„
„Who gives the orders when Dane’s away? he asked,not looking up„
„Whoever’s nearest the seal,and feeling important„„
He laughed„A real one,surprised out of him„She felt the answering tug at the corner of her own mouth„
They crossed the yard in the dark„Raya heard it first„A scrape„Stone on leather„She stopped„
„Problem?
Fenris said„
„Quiet„„
A shadow that shouldn’t move„It moved„She yanked him sideways„A crossbow bolt punched through the air where his head had been,buries itself in the wood pile„
„Was I just shot at? Fenris asked„
„Stay behind me„, She shoved him to the wall„„
They came out of the dark all at once„Four of them„Blades out„Faces wrapped„Raya tore the pink gown straight up the side,and her blade was in her hand„
The first one came fast„She caught his blade,turned it,stepped inside his reach,and stomped down hard„The second man was on the ground„Fenris stood over him„
„You„, she started,stunned„
„Behind you„, He warned„
She dropped„A blade hissed over her head„She came up fast„Elbow into throat,and the third man folded„The fourth went wide,past her,straight for Fenris„She threw herself across the space,and the blade caught her forearm,but she was already moving,twisting,and his wrist snapped under her hand like dry wood„
A whistle cut the dark„The two still standing broke off as one„A disciplined retreat„
„Well„, Fenris said„,you do know how to show a man a memorable evening„„
„You’re not even surprised„, She stared„,Someone just tried to put a bolt through your skull,and you’re not„„
And then it clicked„The hunt last week„The business Dane had wanted the extra watch for„
„This isn’t the first time,is it? She said it slowly„,Your Majesty,is someone after your life? „
For half a second,something real flickered behind his eyes„,You’re bleeding,he said gently„,Let’s see to that arm„„
She didn’t take his hand„
For the better part of a month,Raya tried to work out what the king was hiding„Someone wanted Fenris dead„She did what she was good at„She watched,she gathered„Was the engagement a shield?
A guard at his side he could keep close without explaining why? But the longer she watched him for danger,the more she found herself simply watching him„And worst,somewhere in those long blurred days,Raya stopped wanting him to go away„It crept up on her like a fever„
He came to the east wall at the cold edge of a night watch with two cups of cocoa,and when he handed hers over,his fingers brushed the backs of hers,and her whole arm lit up to the shoulder„
„You’re not looking at the stars,he murmured„His voice did something to her„Low,and amused,and meant only for her,this close in the dark„
„They’re rather outshone tonight„„
He was looking at her,openly,taking his unhurried time about it„Raya could not hold his eyes for more than a breath before she had to look away„He smiled into his cocoa like a man who’d won something,and said nothing,and let her stew„
And so it came to a one-on-one late in the armory„
„What do you want? she snapped„It came out raw„
„I can’t keep doing this„, Her voice cracked„,Tell me it’s a scheme„Tell me you need a sword you can trust„Tell me anything that makes sense because I am not built to want things I can’t have,and you are making me want„„ She stopped„
„What if I simply want you? he asked„He was close now„
„Men like you don’t want women like me„, But it came out as a whisper„
„You don’t believe me„, he said softly„,So,tell me to stop,and I’ll go„Right now„I’ll walk out,and never trouble you again„,His voice dropped to almost nothing„,Or ask me to prove it„„
„Prove it„, She heard herself say„
He kissed her„And every careful thing in Raya’s head went white,and silent at once„His hand slid into her hair,and his mouth was warm,and certain,and thorough„Her knees forgot their job„Then her nose caught up with the rest of her,and what it found wrecked her„His want„Unmistakable,rolling off him in a hot,dark wave„The scent of a man who wanted her badly„It hit her low,and molten,and folded her resistance in half„
She let her hands find him„Up under the edge of his shirt,to the hard,flat plane of his stomach„The muscle leaping under her palms„The rough groan that broke against her mouth„She fisted her other hand in his collar,and dragged him down,and kissed him like she’d been thinking about it for a fortnight„
„Raya„, His voice had gone ragged„
„I’m sure„, she said„
His hands found the laces of her tunic„Hers found his shirt„She got her palms flat against his chest,warm skin,the hammering of his heart under her hands,and he made a sound like she’d hurt him,and grabbed her by the hips,and lifted„Her back hit the wall„Her legs wrapped around his waist„
This was not a scheme„This was not a strategy„This was just a man wanting her for no reason but wanting„And gods help her,she wanted him back„
Raya had stood guard at a hundred balls„She had never once been a guest at one„Now here she was in blue silk,feeling exposed„She caught Fenris’s eye across the room,and he smiled„Slow,private„
„You look like you’re mine„,,He said against her skin„,And I’m the luckiest bastard in the kingdom„„
He took her out onto a colonnade where the music thinned,and the night air came cool off the gardens„
„You hate this„,, She said,watching him„
„Hate’s a strong word„„
„You’re lying„„
He laughed,surprised,genuine„,I am,aren’t I?
He turned to face her,and the charming ease had gone out of his expression„,I’ve been doing this since I was nineteen„The smiling,the performing,the being what they need me to be,so they don’t look too closely at what I’m not„„
She reached up,and touched his face„His breath caught„The false smile crumbled„
„You’re not what they think you are„,, She said quietly„,You’re so much more than some performance„And the man underneath„, She paused„,I like him„A lot„„
Something cracked open behind his eyes„
„Raya„,, he said,voice rough„Then he kissed her,fierce,and grateful,and something close to desperate„
She leaned into it,into him,and the world shifted„It wasn’t the heat„She knew the heat,the wanting,the familiar pull of desire„This was something else entirely„Relief,fear,something fierce,and tender,a warmth that poured in through the place where they touched,and it wasn’t hers„She could feel him,his emotions,distinct,and clear,and utterly foreign„
Raya jerked back with a gasp„Fenris’s eyes were wide,his pupils blown„
„Did you„, he started„
„It was just a kiss„,, she heard herself say„
Fenris froze„
„A kiss„,, he repeated„His face shuttered„,Right,he said quietly„,You’re right„Probably nothing„„
A servant appeared at the edge of the colonnade,silver tray balanced on one palm„Two cups of wine,dark as blood,in the moonlight„
„Your majesty„,, the servant murmured,and offered the tray„
Fenris didn’t move„He was still looking at Raya,and there was something wounded in his eyes„
He turned to the servant,reached for the wine,and Raya’s wolf snarled„Every instinct she had screamed wrong„Her hand shot out,and knocked the cup from his fingers„Glass shattered on stone„
„Don’t„,, She said„,Don’t touch it„„
She was already dropping to a crouch„
„Nightshade,she said„,Or something close enough„This was meant to incapacitate you„Perhaps even kill you„„
The color drained out of his face„
„You will tell no one„,, He said„His face had gone hard„,Not Dane,not the watch,no one„Do you understand me? „No„,, She pulled her hand free„,No,I don’t„We have a foreign king fifty feet away,and his daughter,too„
„If word gets out that someone tried to poison me,under my own roof,at my own ball,I will have a war before midnight„„
„So what? You just„,, She gestured at the spilled wine,,You just pretend nothing happened? You smile,and dance,and act like someone didn’t just try to murder you?
„Yes„,, he said simply„
„Fenris,this is the third time,in a month,someone’s tried to kill you„You’re in danger„I can’t protect you if you won’t let me„„
He pulled her against his chest„
„I need you to let me handle this my way„, He said„,Can you do that? Can you trust me? Every part of her that was still a guard said no„But she could still feel the ghost of his emotions against her skin,and she heard herself say,,All right„I promise„„
She gave him a thirty count„Then she followed„She watched him smile,and nod,and deflect questions with practiced ease„Watched him step through a side door,and how the moment he was out of sight,the smile dropped from his face„
She followed him down two flights of stairs,toward Dane’s office„The door clicked shut behind him„Then very quietly she crossed to the door,and opened it„
Fenris was behind her captain’s desk„The drawers were open„
„What are you doing? He looked up„
„Raya„,, His voice was very calm„Very steady„,This isn’t what it looks like„„
„Someone just tried to put poison in your cup„,, She said„,You told me to say nothing„And then you come straight down here,in the dark,to go through my captain’s private papers„Tell me,Fenris,what is going on?
„I’ve been investigating,Dane„,, He said„
„Dane,your captain„,, His voice had gone quiet,even terribly gentle„,Embezzlement,sabotage„The supplies that never come„The orders that contradict each other„All of it deliberate„Bleeding the coin meant for the watch into House Revel„And I think the men who’ve tried to kill me have been carrying his money„„
The floor went out from under her„
„No„,, She said„,That’s not„,Dane wouldn’t„„
He came around the desk toward her„
„You needed someone close to him„,, she heard herself say„,Someone he trusted„That’s why you said yes,in the tavern„You’d been hunting a way to get close to him,and a drunk fool stood up on a chair,and handed you one„„
He said nothing„He held her eyes,and did not deny it„
„Say I’m wrong„,, Her voice cracked„,Fenris,say I’m wrong„„
He looked at her for a long moment„She watched him try to find the words,and he didn’t say she was wrong„
„I won’t pretend the engagement didn’t start as cover„,, he said„,but it stopped being„„
„Why didn’t you just ask? She interrupted„,If you suspected him,why not haul him in? „Being king doesn’t make me untouchable„,, He sighed„,Dane holds the army„An old name,powerful friends,the loyalty of every soldier,in this city„If I’d arrested him on a hunch,with no proof,there’d have been blood,in the streets by dawn„I couldn’t move on him until I had something not one man alive could argue with„„
It was a good answer„That was the worst of it„
„Read it yourself„,, He held the papers out„His voice gone hoarse„,He’s bleeding the watch dry„Your watch„The exhausted men you stood on a chair,and defended„„
„Not everyone is like you„,, She said„,Some people are simply what they say they are„,, The tears spilled over„,Is that why you didn’t tell me? Because you thought we’d both been conspiring against you„„
„Gods,Raya„,, His hand shot out„
„If anything,you’re the one person,in this palace,I cleared instantly„„
That stopped her„
„Why?
She said before she could stop herself„
„Because you were drunk„,, He said„,That night,in the tavern„Drunk people don’t dissemble„They just say the true thing„And the true thing you said up on that chair,was that everything wrong with this kingdom was my fault„Not one of them would ever say it to my face„But you did„That’s how I knew you weren’t part of anything„„
He took a half step closer„When she didn’t retreat,he took another„
„You knew I was innocent„,, She said,her voice shaking„,You watched me put my own body between you,and a blade,twice„I bled for you,in that yard„I let you into my bed,and in all of it,you never once told me the truth„Why not me,Fenris? „Because I didn’t think you’d believe me„,, He said,barely above a breath„,I didn’t think you’d trust me enough to change your mind about the captain,and I was right„Wasn’t I? „It doesn’t matter„,, she said„,That first night at dinner,men like you don’t see women like me as anything but useful,and you sat there,and let me believe I was wrong„„
„Don’t„,, She jerked back hard enough that her spine hit the wall„He froze,the touch ungiven„
„Don’t say that„Not when the only reason you’re saying any of it is that I walked through the wrong door,at the wrong moment„„
„Raya„,, His voice cracked„,Please„There’s a poison here,loose,in this palace,and a foreign king downstairs,and I„,, He caught himself„,I need you„Please„„
Good night,Your Majesty,she said„And she walked out into the dark of the corridor„
It was all a lie„She pressed the heels of both hands to her eyes hard enough to see stars„Gods,she was stupid„
„Raya„„
She found Dane standing ten paces down the corridor„Just standing there,like he’d been waiting„
„What happened? You’re white as a sheet„„
And because it hurt too much to hold in,she told him„
„It was a lie,Captain„Fenris never wanted me„He used me„I was just„„
Dane’s face softened„
„I know„,, he said gently„,I hoped to spare you this„I’m sorry,Raya„„
„But I didn’t know how to tell you that he’s been bedding the princess„„
Raya’s head snapped up„
„The visiting king’s daughter„,, Dane sighed„His jaw went hard„,She wasn’t willing,Raya„He drugged her„Compromised her„Made sure she’d be found ruined,so her father would have no choice,but to sign the alliance„I saw it myself„Not an hour ago„„
Raya took a step back„Fenris was a liar,yes„But she knew,the way she knew her own heartbeat,he would never do such a thing„Never„Her mind raced„Dane said he’d seen it an hour ago„The timeline was wrong„The story was wrong„None of it added up,which meant Dane was lying„The man who’d pulled her out of the dirt„He was lying to her face,right now„Fenris had told the truth„The stolen funds„The men who’d tried to kill him,carrying Dane’s coin„
„What do we do?
she asked,making her face crumple„
Dane’s eyes sharpened„
„We go to the foreign king,before Fenris can twist it„, He said„,A king who’d drug a man’s daughter isn’t fit to rule„He’ll fall„And there are good houses ready to steady the realm,after he’s gone„House Revel among them„It has to come from you„The king’s own intended„If you tell the foreign king you saw Fenris take his daughter,no one,in that room will doubt a word„„
They walked,and it was the longest walk of her life„She had to get into that room,and flip Dane’s trap back on him,and she had nothing„Just her word„And one wrong word,and the entire kingdom could end up at war„
The foreign king had taken a council room,in the east wing„Fenris was with him„He looked up when she came in behind Dane,and for half a second,his whole face lit„Then he saw who she walked in with,and the light went out„
„Your majesty„,, Dane bowed„,It grieves me to bring this,but your daughter has been wronged by the man at your right hand„,, He laid it out„The drug,the alliance bought with her shame„
„That’s a lie„,, Fenris said„,Every word of it is his„„
„He’d say that„,, Dane said„,Of course he would„But the king’s own bride was there„,, He turned„The whole room turned with him„,Raya,tell his majesty what you saw„„
Every face in the room swung to her„The foreign king leaning forward,desperate„The advisers,Dane,sure of her,already counting it won„And Fenris,who thought she’d come to bury him„
She looked at him„I’m sorry,she told him,with no words at all„I should have believed you„Then she turned to the foreign king„
„I saw nothing of the sort„,, she said„,Because it never happened„Captain Dane is lying to you„The king was at his own ball,with me„He never went near the princess„And there have been three attempts on King Fenris’s life„There was poison,in his wine,tonight„I knocked it from his hand„Search the captain’s quarters„Now,while he’s standing here,and can’t reach them„See whether you find proof of a wronged princess,or a paymaster’s ledger,and poison that could kill an alpha king„„
„This is hysteria„,, Dane’s calm cracked„,She’s distraught„„
„Then a search costs you nothing„,, said the foreign king quietly„He nodded to his guards„
And Dane’s face changed„The grave,honest captain was gone„What was left was cornered„He ran„He came straight at her,and she saw the knife slide out of his sleeve,half a beat before he reached her„
„Raya! Fenris’s voice,raw with terror„
But this was the one thing,in the whole night,she knew how to do„She turned into him,caught the knife arm at the wrist,wrenched,and used his own weight to put him face down on the stone„Her knee dropped between his shoulders„
„You trained me„,, she said„,You should have remembered what I’m good at„„
Then the guards had him,and they hauled him up,and dragged him out,and it was done„The foreign king went to his daughter first,safe,asleep,and never touched„The advisers hurried off,in tight clusters„The guards took Dane„And then it was just the two of them„
Fenris hadn’t moved„He was staring at her like he’d never seen her before„
„You saved my life„,, he said„,Even after everything,you still„„
„I came to stop a traitor„,, Raya said flatly„,That’s all„„
„The bond,it’s real„,, He said„,You felt it,tonight„I know you„„
„It doesn’t matter if it’s real„,, she said coldly„,I saved you because it was my duty,and because Dane was a traitor„Not one second of it was forgiveness„You used me,Fenris„„
„I love you„I don’t care how it started„That doesn’t change what it became„,, He said„
„Don’t„,, She stepped back„,You can say mate,like it fixes everything„You looked me,in the eye,for weeks,and used me„A bond doesn’t undo that„I don’t want your apology„I’m glad you’re alive„You’ll be a good king„But I can’t trust you anymore„I don’t know if I ever will again„„
She walked out„
She’d been captain of the guard for six months,and she was good at it„The palace was a different place now„Dane sat in a cell beneath the old fort„The rot he’d worked into the guard,for years,cut out clean„The king had done all of that,and the city had started to love him for it„
He’d made her captain„He’d also spent the last five of those six months,trying to win her back„
The flowers arrived a month in„She came off a dawn watch,and found the entire barracks yard full of them„
„Send them to the infirmary„,, she’d said„,And the temple„„
He tried in the council chamber next„She stood at the war table,twice a week,now,and he was always there across from her„He’d catch her eye,and his whole face would do something hopeful,and uncertain„And she would look back down at the troop numbers„After,he’d find a reason to linger by the door„
„Captain„,, he’d say softly„,Could I have a moment? She always walked out anyway„
The bond didn’t help„Leave a bond open,and it deepened„Deepened,and it set„So,she kept it closed,and hoped it would wither from neglect,and let her go„
Meanwhile,Fenris wrote to her„His letters came two,and three,a week,in his own hand„Some were short„Some ran for pages„Some weren’t even about her„One read,,I keep writing the same word,a hundred ways„Sorry„It’s a small,stupid word for what I did,and I don’t have a bigger one,so I’ll just keep sending it„Another,,You said I felt close enough to take you to bed,and not close enough to tell you the truth„You were right„Instead of earning your trust,I just spent it„It’s the worst thing I’ve done„And one near the bottom of a long page,she’d sworn she wouldn’t finish„,I don’t want you back because you’re useful„I want you back because none of this matters if you’re not with me„„
Pike,and Brenna always had opinions„
„Good„,, said Brenna,in the early weeks„,Make him sweat„You don’t owe that man a thing„„
A month or two on,the line had moved„
„He sorted the back pay„,, Pike said one evening„,And he’s written you what? Forty letters?
„Forty-three„,, said Brenna,who apparently counted„
By the fifth month,they’d given up subtlety entirely„
„Captain„,, Brenna said„,with respect,talk to the man„„
„There’s nothing to talk about„„
„You’re miserable„He’s miserable„And the rest of us have to stand here,and watch„„
One night,in the sixth month,a letter came that was different„
„Raya,I’m sorry„You deserved better„You’ve made yourself clear,and I’ll respect it„I’ll stop now„„
She read it twice„This was what she’d wanted„So why did it feel like losing? He kept his word„No more letters,no more flowers„When she passed him,in corridors,he’d nod„
„Captain„,, even,and polite,not cold,never cold,just done„
Until the knock„Pike came into her office,Brenna,at his shoulder,both of them,the particular gray color of people who have made a very large mistake„
„What? Raya said slowly„
„He’s gone„,, Brenna said„,The king„Off the grounds„Not in his chambers,not anywhere„No one’s seen him since the tenth bell„„
She was on her feet without deciding to be„
„When was he last seen? And by whom?
Where was he headed? „Wake the trackers„His scent off his chambers,and every gate„Quietly„No bells,no alarm„If word gets out,we’ll have a panic by dawn„„
The trackers caught his scent,and lost it at the east postern,where it simply stopped„The way a scent stops,when a man is being careful„Or when a man is being carried„
Raya stood in the courtyard,with the pre-dawn wind cutting through her uniform„There was one way left to find him„She pressed a hand to her chest,over the bond she’d been trying to smother,for half a year„
„It’s duty„,, She told herself„,He’s the king„,Finding him is my job„„
She opened the bond„It hit her like a door blown open,in a storm„Sadness first„Deep,and bottomless„Then anger turned inward,then despair,raw,and suffocating„And underneath it all,confusion„Slow„Swimming„Drowsy„
He’s been drugged„
She was moving before she finished the thought,out at a dead run,following the pull of him like a rope hauling her forward„
The bond pulled her down through the lower city,into the narrow streets,where the pre-dawn light barely reached„She came to a tavern„Warm light at the windows„She hit the door low,and ready,hand on her hilt,braced for a back room,a blade,a body,and stopped„
There was just the king,slumped half across the bar,at the far end of the room,collar open,hair a complete disaster,one hand wrapped loose around a cup,talking earnestly,and at great length,to a deeply uncomfortable barman„
„Is he drunk? Raya looked at the way he was holding onto the bar,instead of the other way round,at how,when he gestured,the whole top half of him swayed,after his hand,like a tree,in a strong wind„
Relief hit Raya first„A bright,hot wave of it,because he was alive„He was safe„And then the fury came right behind it„She was going to kill him„
She got close enough to hear what he was saying„
„Of course I’ve tried apologizing„,, He slurred„,For months,I have apologized,in every conceivable way„She won’t hear a word of it„The thing is„,, He took a grateful swallow„,There’s nothing left for me to do,but give up,is there? But how do you give up on your mate?
Did I tell you she was my mate? „She’s so stubborn,won’t hear me,won’t do anything,but work„And she’s very beautiful,while she works,very competent„„
Raya reached the bar,and plucked the cup clean out of his hand„
„That’s enough„„
His eyes found her face,and stuck„He blinked„His whole ruined,miserable expression cracked wide open into something so delighted it hurt to look at„
„Raya„,, He breathed„And through the still open bond,she felt it slam into him,all at once„Joy,and relief,and disbelief„
„What were you thinking? She said„,Low,and furious„,Vanishing,like that„No guard,no word,no„„
„Relax„,, He waved her off„,I’ll be back before anyone notices I’ve gone„„
„The entire guard„,, said Raya„,has noticed you’ve gone„„
He swayed slightly„
„Come on„,, She sighed„,Let’s go„„
„I’m not going„,, He tried to pull away from her grip,and nearly fell off the stool„,I’m very happy here„„
„You’re nearly passed out on a bar stool„„
„You betrayed me„,, she snapped„
„I didn’t know you„,, He pulled back to look at her blearily„,And then I did know you„And I loved you„And I was afraid of losing you„„
Raya stopped breathing„She could feel the frustration,and sorrow,and fear of it,pouring straight through the bond,unguarded„
„You were so certain I couldn’t possibly want to court you,but I happen to very much enjoy courting you„,, he went on„,But it was so obvious,that the captain had you eating out of his palm„He spent years,making you believe the only thing you’re good for is serving his guard„And you believe it still„„
„You should have told me„,, she said„
„Yes„,, he nodded„,I was a coward„„
„Just like you’re being a coward now„,, he added,making her gasp„
„What? „You’d rather strangle our bond,a connection between our actual souls,than risk getting hurt twice„You are a coward„„
„I am not a coward„,, Raya snapped„
„Prove it„,, His eyes were sliding half shut„,Marry me„„
The world stopped„
„Marry me„„Please„,, The bravado fell away,and what was left was raw,and small,and utterly undefended„,I’m a wreck without you„I’ll spend the rest of my life,making it up to you„I swear it„„
The sincerity of it,the love,the missing her so much it felt like dying,all of it poured through the bond„No mask,no angle„The man who hid everything,hiding nothing at all„
„Ask me again when you’re sober„,, She said„,Ask me again tomorrow,when you can actually remember asking„„
„And you’ll say yes?
He breathed„
She opened her mouth to answer,and then the king of all the land passed out cold,against her shoulder„His head lolled against her neck,his breath warm,and even,and smelling powerfully of strong liquor„And Raya stood there,and felt herself smile,for the first time,in six months„She pressed a kiss to his forehead,and whispered,,Ask me tomorrow,and find out„„
In the end,it took him four months„Four months of asking„Every single day,sober,in every way a man could think of,and a few no sane man should„He asked across the war table,until Brenna threatened to resign,in writing„He asked on the east wall,with cocoa going cold,in his hands„He asked badly,and beautifully„And once with so many flowers,the barracks smelled like a funeral,for a week„And every day,Raya told him to ask again tomorrow„
Until one perfectly ordinary morning,she looked the man grinning hopefully at her,over breakfast,and she said yes„
The whole city came out for it„The boy king nobody had taken seriously,and the plain guard,who’d seen the man behind the smile,before anyone else bothered to look„He cried during the vows„She’d known he would„She didn’t quite„But it was a near thing„And the bond gave her away anyway„And he laughed at her through his own tears,and she stopped caring who saw„
„You’re stuck with me now„,, He murmured when it was done„,No taking it back„„
„Why would I take it back? „I’m the one who proposed to you first,if you recall„,, Said Raya„
„Best decision you ever made„,, Fenris concluded„
She kissed him„For once,she didn’t argue„
